His name is Mitch Hewer. If you don’t know him, watch the amazing British show called Skins. It’s a hot show in itself, and he’s the hottest thing in it. I mean, what’s hotter than a guy who’s willing to make out with other (hot) guys. Not only on screen though…
HE’S FUCKING BRITISH. Now, I’m 100% sure we all have a foreign boy fetish, but holy fuck, listen to that voice. Just imagine him: calling your name as his beautiful chiseled body thrusts you against a wall. Now, go clean yourself up and change your panties.
YUM. I’d like to lick that lollipop. And look at this boy dance. This little British mofo can dance in my pants any fucking time he wants.
His snide manner - how he talks all smooth and careless, saunters around and cocks the half smile and melts you. He would look at you across a smoky bar and you’d want him to undress you with those piercing blue eyes so badly that subconciously you’d start dropping trou before you even realized it and then once you realized you had his attention you’d totally keep going. Then you’d get kicked out the bar for public indency but he’d follow you and you’d have rough sex in the alley. Yeeaaaahhh.
Yes. It’s Ashley FUCKING Stymest bitches. Undeniably hot. Just look at that face. His facial expressions are TOO SEXY. You can only imagine what kind of faces he’d make in bed with you.
His badass hair. He always has that “I just rolled out of bed but I still look damn sexy” look. Maybe he’s trying to tell us that he doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the sheets. That’s something I wouldn’t mind finding out the HARD way. It’s okay girls, go ahead. Touch yourself.
His body. Let’s just say you’d be crazy to not want to wake up to this face. His chest is amazing. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t mind helping him sweat a little bit. Er. A lot.
This man is a motherfucking canvas. Tattoos just work for him. It adds to his badass attitude that just keeps you begging for more.
He’s a model. Don’t act like that doesn’t turn you on. You know you’d fall all over yourself as soon as you saw him walking down that runway. Or maybe, just maybe, you’d sneak him into a bathroom and make your OWN show. Alright. Stop touching yourself. “Sticky keys” has a whole new meaning.
Put your shirt down Shemar, are you trying to start a riot? Damn. Just damn. I forgot what I was going to say with this particular point. Just look at the picture.
He plays S.S.A. Derrick Morgan on Criminal Minds, adding a whole ‘nother level of sexiness to it. I mean, I know I’m not the only one who has to fight those threesome fantasies every time he has a scene with The Gube, or that desperately wants to be Penelope so he’ll call me “babygirl” (and I hate pet names).
Two words: Angry Sex. This man looks like he’d be a straight connoisseur, a master of it. Maybe it’s how his (perfect) eyebrows are always furrowed, even when he smiles that perfect smile of his, or that deep, gravelly, voice, but he just seems like he could throw you around with those incredibly strong arms in the very best of ways all. night. long.
His first language was Dutch. I don’t know what it sounds like really, but I’m sure it sounds really fucking good. Foreign languages always do, right? I mean, just listen to how good he sounds in English.
Take a look at this sexy bitch. This handsome devil is Fabrizio Moretti! Not only is this mother fucker pure sex, he’s hilarious! Whether he is showing off some kick-ass dance moves, or making some funny yet adorably weird faces, he keeps you laughing.
He’s got musical talent coming out of his beautiful ass. He uses his delicious god hands to play guitar. He can beat the shit out of the drums (hopefully among other things, right ladies?). He has even done his fair of share parting his luscious lips to sing a tune.
He can pull off any piece garment you throw on his sexy bod. This bitch can rock a coke shirt. He’s been flaunting those babies since 2001. Give him a tattered jacket that can look like shit on anybody else, but once that hunk of man slips his limbs through the sleeves, it becomes gold.
His skills with the ladies are im-fucking-peccable. Drew Barrymore? Nailed. Binki Shapiro? Done. Every sensible girl in the world? We wish! He drinks, he smokes, but that doesn’t stop him from being prince charming.
He is an overall sex god. Take a look at baby Fab. How fucking adorable was he? He’s had sex written all over him since he was a wee little thing. Have you seen his face…like truly given it a gander? Its fucking perfect!
Holy fucking damn, do you know who that fine motherfucker is? If you don’t, then you best not be familiar with the wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter. No, he is not in the movies. Darren Criss plays the hot-as-a–fucking-dragon Harry in the fandom-renowned play A Very Potter Musical. This is how Harry SHOULD be: “super mega foxy awesome hot.”
Talented bastard is talented. A one-man show of the intro to Beauty and the Beast? This man can tap into your childhood memories AND your ass. And that voice. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel the reverberations of his smooth vocal chords caress your nether-regions.
Kind of tying into that last point, but it deserves its own. He wrote all of the music in A Very Potter Musical. That is a lot of catchy and funny shit to compose! He could write you a song that will make your sides hurt and panties wet at the same time. His skills with a guitar all but guarantees that he will be a perfect lover.
He can tap into his inner geek. He can be Harry Potter; he can be Mr. Wickham; he can even be How fucking versatile can he be? I would not say no to a little role-playing with him.
Tom Hardy should be on your radar now if he wasn’t before. He plays the devilishly charming Forger “Eames” in the best movie of the year, (don’t argue with me bitches) Inception, and since then everyone’s been talking about him. A piece of perfection in a suit is what he was - just all kinds of distractingly gorgeous. Stop that Tom, I’m trying to watch the movie!
Speaking of Inception, you know how hard you were ‘shipping Arthur and Eames during it (unless you were ‘shipping yourself with one of them but whatever)? Well, Tom’s recently come out and said that he’s had relationships with men before and finds them sexy. We’re just going to ignore that the source is the Daily Mail and believe it because holy fuck does that just make him sexier.
Not only is he a pretty great actor but the boy can pull off a powdered wig, a Texas sized mustache and weird silvery vein things. Also of note, he’s overcome drug addiction, a nervous breakdown, and almost as bad - MySpacedouchebag poses. It takes a serious amount of hotness to do all that, does it not?
He’s got a damn fine body. Not sure what’s going on with those tattoos but who cares? Look at those muscles!! God, I honestly don’t know how I got through typing this without either passing out or fapping. Actually, here’s one last picture and if you’ll excuse me, I have something to take care of.
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